Friday, 26 December 2008

Christmas Feast

The previous "owners" of Mildred and Patsy had thoughts that we may be feeding them up for a Christmas feast... and requested their return.. briefly, before sending them further south in search of the warm sun.

Well, just to reassure them here is a photo of the other hens, George and Quintin, that we did manage to capture and fatten up ready for the big day. There was never any intention of roasting Mildred and Patsy because we already had our castrated boys' picked out from the local farm.

Christmas 2008

PS: Quintin is the hen on the left.

Monday, 1 December 2008


Well it seemed to take ages, before our original parents got us out of our plastic skins. Richard said how we "must have been really hungry" as there was not one oat left in the box, or had those parsimonious Scots not put much in, he said not to repeat that!

Angela thought that we looked quite cold and damp and said we should sit by the fire a while to thaw out and know what a warm house was like; we don't get much of that white stuff that they call snow around here and we don't have deer and woolly mammoths grazing in the field next door. What we do have is the Dixons and he is our local wizard - a member of the secret hand shake society but we'd better not say anymore!
Angela was keen to celebrate, and said "let's have some bubbly", she knows that it is Mildred's favourite and soon she will be in Dubai and it is rationed out there, Patsy enjoyed hers too and said I had to drink something made out of bog water up north, still once you got it down you it really warmed up your insides, however Patsy agreed that Bollinger was best.
Mildred started shaking at that point, the thought of the UAE and what happens to expats out there, limited drink - no Bolly, no sex on the beach, hands cut off - not that I've got any, still the nuts gave us energy and then Angie spoiled everything by saying it was time for bed we had guests coming round and they didn't want to be seen up at this time by the Pinckos.

Don't be too taken in with all those fancy tit-bits. Both of you always said to us that the wee dram that we gave you every night was far better than the grog that Angela panned off on you both back home in Blighty. Janis was so looking forward to having you with us for Christmas and helping Iain put up the Christmas Tree and placing all the presents under it along with having a good tipple of Drambuie to finish things off.
Have a good Christmas, where ever you are.

the journey home

Wow, what a journey we have had, one moment we are nice and cosy with our tartan scarves having a warm toddy, next we are whisked off and covered in some strange plastic. Patsy thought we were being readied for some strange Scottish kinky sex ritual, hoots girl what an imagination you have!

Next we are being driven a short distance in that lovely motor, we always fall asleep from the refined sound and smoothness of that boxer engine and the warmth helps too.

We are not really sure what happened next, but we spent hours being shaken around with this strange noise, clickety clack, clickety clack, Patsy thought it was somebody sharpening a knife, but I said "eat your oats" and she calmed down.

We eventually fell asleep, although I do remember waking for a bit as we were being thrown around, then I heard "diesel, fill er upp" and things got really bad, what a smell and the rough noises of that squealing engine and no warmth.

It was then morning, as I could see daylight through the small hole in our box that Iain had kindly left for some air to get in. The postman was very kind and reassured us that we would soon be home, then there was the sound of a door bell and we were back at Oak Meadows.

We are so, so glad to see that you arrived safely back with Richard and Angela. Looks like you had a safe journey with that nice postman.

Going Home

We were most upset when Iain & Janis said that our owners, Richard and Angela, would like us to be home with them by Christmas but we know that we could not stay here forever.

We said our goodbyes and without much warning we were wrapped up in bubble wrap and put into a box and sent on our way back south. Janis put in some Porridge for the long journey home.

We are off to new adventures to warmer climates we hope.